Today I was pleasantly reminded of the reflective nature of reality and encouraged to share it. We can look to many ancient texts and disciplines and find this idea expressed, that the external reality one experiences is a REFLECTION of one’s internal composite. We often mistakenly contemplate this in a more philosophical way, but I have been blessed with many lessons in this to prove this is a fundamental and physical truth of the nature of reality. The reflections of love in nature.
I first became aware of this directly when I was planning my first mission trip to Israel back in 2018. I was guided to join 50 strangers across the world to the “holy land,” something I had never experienced prior. I was excited and nervous. I had never left my children before, and I was following my personal guidance with no certainty of what lay ahead. I was spending a fair amount of money to do so, something I wasn’t comfortable with to spend on myself. I knew it was important, but as I got to the bank to wire the money to the event coordinator out of the country, I met my match in anxiety in the form of a bank teller. The teller nervously took a long time, questioned me multiple times about my decision, making me aware of risks in sending money overseas. This encounter ended with him saying an important bank number was missing from the seller’s information, that I should double check before I proceeded. I left there more in awe than anything, I realized something else was at play.
I then went to lunch with my sister, who expressed and reflected all of my inner conflict about “leaving” my family to do something risky. I was accused of being irresponsible, a bad mother, putting myself at harm in a way that could hurt my family. I left realizing I needed to sit with myself to discern what was true for me. That night, I plugged into my guidance and my purpose for this and decided I would honor that above all else.
The next day, I went back to the same bank with a new resolve. As I drove taking action on this decision, I was able to fully release and clear all of these energies and fears that were in the way. I cried the entire way there and felt my heart open, I received a flood of understanding of what all of this was related to, and I cleared it to have the new experience my heart desired. I walked in that bank and was greeted by another teller, one that was cheerful and confident. This teller was excited about my trip, and with the same banking information I had before, finished the wire in a matter of minutes. I was thrilled and again in wonder of all I had learned. I proceeded to go on that trip which was monumental for the service opportunity globally, and also for me personally.
As much as this left a mark on me, I still struggle at times with this mirror matrix of reality. When I go through tougher times, I know it’s what’s inside that must be felt and addressed. I’ve learned to not be reactive first, to be reflective and then responsive when appropriate to the outside factors. When I encounter other people that challenge me the most, I know it’s still there I must seek to resolve things. As I write this now, I am experiencing financial constraints accompanied by intense feelings of low self-worth, failure, inadequacy, and fear/expectations of “deserved” punishment. I am re-experiencing old thoughts and feelings tied to times of lack and loss, old memories dancing across my view, reminding me of the validity of all of these horrible feelings attempting to envelop me. It can be intensely frustrating to get pushed back to yourself at these times, when your programming tells you that you must hustle or do something to fight these changes. I know more now, but I was again led through another mirror experience to deepen my understanding.
Last night my husband reminded me of travel funds I had with an airline. There is necessary travel approaching for my daughter, and he saw that same airline had really great deals. I was in my funk but I said I would pursue it, I had forgotten about this and knew time was imminent. After looking through the site and my account unsuccessfully to find these funds, I tried to call. This was a lesson in futility, everything was automated and deflecting me to online avenues. Needless to say my mood was worsening! I finally found a tutorial on how to use funds so I attempted several bookings with the confirmation number that was supposed to work. Funds available—zero. I was beyond frustrated and apparently on hold while cursing and ranting with my phone in my lap. I hear “hello” and amusingly started the first call.
The first agent acknowledged I had credit! Yay! However, my $919.49 turned to $161.20 credit. I questioned it but caved, it was almost a year ago. I let her go through booking it and 45 minutes later, she hit the same block I did. After more time spent being on pause, she told me she couldn’t use it. I then shared that I had received an email from the airline extending redemptions for a year. This was all due to forced cancellations from a “pandemic,” it was unreasonable to say I only had their 3 month window when the country was literally shut down. She agreed and said if I could find that email she could honor it. I would have to call back. Let’s just say my dumpy resignation shifted to pursuing what was fair. I spent more time, and found the email. I also reached out in their online channels to see if that was easier. That was not swift either, and limited to machine conversations so I called back. This time I had an agent see a $ 647.23 credit! I laughed and knew this was noteworthy. Another 48 minutes into booking with her ended with the same block. She then said she had to get a higher office to clear it, that it may take a few days but I’d get an email stating it was done. She asked me to remind her of the amount to be refunded—I thought that was odd, but also thought I must speak up so I reminded her of the full balance I had spent. I then ended the phone call. Twenty minutes later I received the email, but it was only the receipt of the original cancellation stating I had to use funds in that old 3 month time frame! Now it was on. Not in an angry way, but in a “I know my value” way. I flooded both text options, one agent engaging with me and after seeing all of my paperwork, literally not responding. I decided I needed to take the rest of my night to gain neutrality. I knew what I had and that I wasn’t going to stop until it was acknowledged. I went to bed with a prayer, recognizing how I had reacted and asking for guidance and assistance from my “higher” self and angelic team.
I awoke calm with a fresh approach. I looked and found a new avenue of contact I hadn’t used before, it was a live chat. I reached out and the response was IMMEDIATE. I shared my story briefly and was thanked for my patience with the airline. In a matter of minutes I was restored the $919.49! I was able to use it instantly and better than this, I was reminded of all I had experienced in this circumstance that showed me where I started in lack from the INSIDE. The floodgates of knowing opened, and I received the totality of how this related to the poverty mentality and internal constructs that I carried and expressed. I’ve grown enough now to not judge myself too harshly, but I realized was initially going to let them shortchange me $800. I sat with gratitude instead for the lessons, and the thwarting elements that prevented me from following through with it. From an emotional and down place I couldn’t see that, but in my clarity I KNOW that what doesn’t go through is often a blessing in disguise.
As the download came through, I was reminded of the moments that helped lock in this energy of “less than” and unhealthy compromise inside me. Times when the work I was doing was devalued because it didn’t make money. At some point, I adopted these pressures and internalized them in ways that have killed my confidence. These are being addressed now. I’m left again with an awe and willingness to go inside, to do the work there that is most transformative when you want to shift how you relate to the garden of delights or challenges “outside.” As I was driving and relaying these events to my husband, I came across the message on a car that brought me here today. I had been so focused on where I failed or lacked materially, I had forgotten the gazillion other ways we share energy and things that matter. I have so often perceived my husband as not honoring his worth, that should have been the biggest clue to me where I am still needing adjustments! But alas, in this mirror, we LIVE and we LEARN. We LOVE and are LOVED. For now, I am paying it forward…..
Reflections of Love are everywhere.
Yvette Kinchen resides in Mandeville, LA with her husband and 3 out of 4 of her children. She fatefully and gracefully met the beloved Rachel Otto in 2014, and completed all Angel and Rainbow Reiki courses through her instruction. She has used these tools to explore and heal herself, and to serve and uphold the sanctity of all of life. She loves to sing and write, to share love and light in celebration and honor of the Earth and all creation.