The following blog was written by Yvette Kinchen, part of our series of Divine Love.
I was recently called to a family situation to hold space for a mother that lost her son. The moment that the tragedy was relayed to me, I was hit with intense sorrow, defensive discomfort, and a painful tightening and lock down in my belly. These feelings stayed with me as I went through the visit. I also received pains in my breasts at odd times.
During the long drive to get there, I attempted to clear the energies surfacing with my regular protocols. Nothing moved. These energies had stories. They had their own protocols of protection. They were old and I was tired, but I knew it was time to sit by their fire to hear their tales. I got respite as I did so. I called in all the love I could muster to surround myself and these areas with my loving presence. I received calm in various intervals, but learned to just accept them as a necessary part of the process I was in.
As I was with the family it intensified. It was better if I could get outside in nature, but with them my focus was outward. In part I was feeling old pressure and apprehension tied to beliefs that I had to “fix” things. I often took this position as a child in circumstances way beyond my ability in scope and magnitude. This led to deep feelings of failure and worthlessness. They stayed with me no matter what I accomplished. They caused me to guard myself tightly, and to always wait for the next disaster. They caused me to retreat into my cave, as I called it. I had very few people that I shared my problems with, and I did so more from an intellectual standpoint rather than an emotional one.
I decided this time I would feel all these things, but I would do so while keeping my heart open. I would mindfully choose to connect to others, knowing what was playing out was for me too. I knew there was nothing I could offer but my loving presence. There is no fixing this situation. It was important though to acknowledge it; important they have support during something deeply painful and irreversible. Sometimes we just need someone to be there as we take these walks in life and in loss. We all end up here to varying degrees.
After I mindfully went through this and addressed everything that this event stirred to the surface in me, I spent a few days starting with the drive home, physically purging. What was locked up was now coming out in surges. I chose to be an open valve, just allowing and blessing what left. So much was there in relation to the dynamics of the situation. My exposure and connection to this situation, helped me to process and integrate things suppressed and held for a long time. As I did this in recognition, I was grateful for it. A strong knowing came through me reminding me that these are the things we are MEANT to do for and with each other. In crisis or discomfort, we are often afraid and seek to isolate ourselves in order to not feel our connection to them. This only perpetuates our maintenance and ignorance of the suffering stored inside us.
Blessed are those that recognize what is shared in likeness with others, no matter how reveling or disturbing it may be. There is only ONE here. One energy, one heart, one mind, one intelligence having these experiences. We meet each other as various versions of this ONE, in resonance to each other in thought, in lessons, in karmic significance, in misperceptions often, and in feeling. In truth there is no “other.” There is ONE animating a maze of mirrors seeking to experience itself across various dimensions of perception and expression. What if we choose to remember this in every encounter, no matter how many details or narratives seemingly divide us?
Where we go from here, we go together. Where you fall, I fall also. There is so much out there in the spiritual community talking about the division of timelines based on choice, and it is obvious some are choosing to exit during these tumultuous transitions. I, however, choose not to envision this split. I choose to envision ALL of the Earth taking this profound leap together because as a planet, ALL of her/our polarity must be integrated and transcended to do so. In light of this, I choose to see ALL here regardless of their current choices and awareness as aspects of me in various stages of remembrance and restoration. I choose to focus on the things that unite us, the things that inspire us, and the things that humble us along the way. I choose to cultivate compassion, even after acknowledging the pain some choose to inflict on others in ways I sometimes struggle to understand.
I choose to own all of my feelings, my responses, my actions, and my circumstances regardless of how they come about. I let them have their voice without turning them on another, and I give myself the loving presence and patience that I so desperately wanted to receive when younger. As I do so, I notice this is reflected in the relationships around me. It’s time to build each other up, to remind each other of our likeness, to offer a loving space when needed, and to embrace the diversity of experience and expression we offer each other. In this we honor the ONE that permeates all form, and we uplift the potential for ALL to receive harmony and peace as the primary experience.
Oneness for All
#love #one #loss #grief #peace #spirituality